Well... this is not about my best friend(s) or his/her wedding. This is about the movie which goes by the same name. Again this is not a review or critic. The movie had two gorgeous women (Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts) which basically tempted me to watch the entire movie flipping the channel between the Champions League game between Aresenal and Villareal. I started focussing more on the movie after it was clear that Arsenal were going to Win.
I thought it was pretty interesting movie. Two women going for the same man kind of story. Just in case if you havent watched it, Julia and the guy were going together in the past but then remained closest friends. Then the guy falls in love with Cameron Diaz and they both decide to get married. But Julia after a long gap suddenly finds her in a position that her best friend is being stolen away from her and she also realises that she actually loves him. So she is making desperate attempts to stop the wedding at any cost, but in the end just gives up and lives with the fact that she was just too late to realise that she actually fell in love with him.
Now comes the point of my blogging about this. I agree it was more hollywood and dramatical, but in reality do people realise that they actually love something only when they lose it/him/her the most(I know this cannot be generalized)?? Like in this case the women had the guy all ga-ga over her in the past, but she was just happy to be his friend and nothing more. In a casual conversation with a friend of mine, he was saying that women, when they date guys dont want to commit, but want to keep their options open, sort of like window shopping. Maybe there is a better guy outthere. Some I heard even handle 2 or 3 guys at the same time, by calling them friends. It was his opinion from his personal experiences perhaps. But interesting thing is, when the same woman finds the guy taken away from her, then she realises how badly she likes him and how much she wants him. There is another point of view that most Indian women always start things with guys as good friends. They somehow find this very comfortable to start with. But does this phenomenon lead to a stage that they actually become close friends and then suddenly something tells her that how can u go for a guy who is your closest friend. Ofcourse I have seen the cases where 2 very good friends have ended up being together and things have worked out too. So I am not trying to generalize, but merely trying to see what other people think about this situation.
What I am wondering is that, is it human nature which common to both men and women or is it more feminine charecteristic?? I know its kinda silly post to even talk about this. But consider this as a Tea-time or Coffee table talk over a coffee table with your friends and post your opinions or comments about the same. You could go anonymous if you want to share personal experience and dont want to be public with it. I would def. love to hear the opinions from the fairer sex on this.
Baltic Tour
14 years ago
8 comments:
the superfine line between being just a good friend with a person of the opposite gender & being prepared to accept that person as a worthwhile life-partner: Here is a recent article appearing in the Hindu on that topic and if that wasn't interesting enough, here is a mouth-watering and lengthy discussion from a blog initiated by a person belonging to the fairer sex.
If I understand your question correctly, you want to know why Indian (?)women fall in love with their male best friends when the said friend gets romantically involved with someone?
I don't think that's a rule. A girl could have lots of male pals but would feel this way about just one of them, which kind of destroys your premise. He need not even be her "best friend," could be just a regular friend.
The idea of a third person entering the equation (in whatever capacity) threatens the existing equation. So it's a sense of potential loss that might have created this sudden sense of love.
Alternatively, the girl could have loved the guy for a looooooong time. He probably never got it. So she tells him before it's too late.
Makes sense huh? I've actually even managed to convince myself :)
@anon: thanks for the link. I agree Women like to make friends first to evaluate if the guy is worthy of a date. About the blogspot, not much of a discussion there.
@careless: I think you misunderstood. I meant to say that Indian women generally prefer to be friends first before dating(like in the article). Sort of gives them an initial estimate of whether the guy is good enough to date. I ve hardly come across many Indian woman being extremely comfortable with a guy asking out on a date straight away, when they meet first, than being friends and then date. As to men, if they see a pretty girl they dont usually think twice :-o) .. I think I can confidantly say this :-o)
@Sriram: I guess you are right. Indian women are more cautious and pick and choose carefully lest they should get hurt i guess. They would not just go out on a date with a stranger! Though todays teens are more outgoing in this matter ;)
Some women may just not see the need for a date when all they need is friends. Again, I don’t think even an Indian woman would mind dating somebody who she finds is worth it. Now how does she find is he is worth it? So, I guess that’s how it works. Again am not very sure. I am still researching on men-women relationships. I find it the biggest mystery on earth.
@Freedom: Gues maybe you are right.. Women are very choosy and fuzzy as always :-p)
@sriram: guess what?... thats why they are special :P
I wouldnt go that far... besides I dont see any correlation logically.. and its the same set of women who come back and complain that they ve made the wrong choice at the end of it all.. so wat can i say..
window shopping:)) well.,well, if only there are less mannequins out there;)
jokes apart,I think it is the tendency to look out for the 'perfect' man/woman ,overlooking the nice ones around and then the late realisation that the 'perfect'being does not exist:)
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